What doesn't kill you makes you....

It's been a year. A year... filled with just about everything you could possibly imagine. It was the best of times; it was the worst of times. When I look back, I can't help but wonder what would have happened if things turned out differently then they did. If maybe I hadn't gone away for the summer. If maybe I hadn't begun dating. If maybe, if maybe. If maybe I wasn't here today. I wouldn't know the things i know, and i wouldn't have felt the things i've felt. I don't know if thats a good thing. But it's something. I feel like i've done my time already. There is nothing more that could go right, and there is nothing more that could go wrong. It feels like the end of an era.

It's strange to think that one day, years from now, the past will just seem like a bad dream. Eventually, life sets you free. And now I'm just waiting, i guess. 

How can someone I've known for so long turn on me like that?

I would like to see her go through all that shit, and come out on top, just like she was before.

I would like to see her try to even grasp those problems in the first place.

She does not even have an inkling of what has happened to me, and yet my best friend still judges and laughs. Nobody tries to understand anymore.

It's just a lost cause.

I don't care enough to go after this. 

It's not my problem anymore.

Don't Kill Your Babies...?

It bugs me when pro-lifers use the argument: "that baby could grow up and find the cure for cancer!" 

Yeah well, that baby could be John Wayne Gacy Jr.

Ego Inflation

It's one of those days where you have helium inside your heart, glitter in your veins and a smile that nobody could ever wipe off. I'm awake, I'm alive. Yeah, sure, I'm dragging myself through this last semester with late nights and countless espressos. Yeah, sure, I have shit going around. Yeah, sure, I'm broke. Yeah. Sure. 

There just have to be some things that nobody can steal from you. Confidence. I get turned down more than I get taken out. I get hurt faster than I have time to heal. I act before I have time to think. I regret everything. And everything regrets me.

But somehow I'm able to face myself every morning in the mirror and smile and thank the Flying Spaghetti Monster that I still love myself. 

Her Dream

I can't relate to them anymore.

She said she had a dream that I moved to Chicago.

That i was a member of some church.

That we were standing on a cold sidewalk in a dusty city.

That she asked me "is this it?"

And then, I guess I walked off.

She felt sad. I can't tell you how i felt.

It wasn't my dream.

But you can see how it really applies. 

I'm so different from them, and It's too late to change that. 

Words of Wisdom From Macbeth (coming to a JM near you May 30th)

And must they all be hanged that swear and lie?

Every one.

Who must hang them?

Why, the honest men.

Then the liars and swearers are fools, for there are liars and swearers enough to beat the honest men and hang them up.